Distance dating

In the post-pandemic era, dinner dates have become passe. The dating population is looking for outdoorsy meetings that are fun and more importantly safe.

Rachana Ramesh

First date drinks are slowly becoming outdated. “I personally feel that dates are misunderstood by people at large,” says Surya. In the past year, first dates are focusing more on activities as icebreakers. Daters are picking more interesting, unique first date activities that help them really get to know each other. Tinder saw a two time increase in mentions of ‘long walks’ in bios and requests for date activities from cycling to taking a pottery class. When asked about first date plans, a picnic in a park or a virtual movie night were popular choices.

In the times of the pandemic, as social distancing turned into the new normal, it has been a tough time for those looking for love. Spots where the young generation went to connect with their close ones were closed, but the need for human contact was present. During the pandemic, virtual dating was the route the young took to fulfil their need for human interaction. Do I swipe left or right? What’s taking them so long to reply? Am I blocked? If you have ever set your foot in the realm of online dating, this set of questions may sound familiar.

In 2021, Gen Z enjoyed both virtual meet-cutes and post-vaccination relatime dates. Video dates have turned into a first date staple for singletons with mentions of ‘video call’ in Tinder bios growing by 52 percent globally. A significant number of Indians took to video dating. Hyderabad reigned supreme as the chattiest video dating city, followed closely by Chennai and Bengaluru, according to a Tinder study.

With the pandemic easing, people can now choose to go on real dates. Gen Z was also looking to make a connection with new people close to them for real life hangouts, with ‘nearby’ and ‘close by’ both increasing by 20 percent in Tinder bios. This shows that in the real world it isn’t going out of fashion anytime soon. What adventure would you choose to go on for a first date? Coffee, drinks or dinner? While these are age old non-activity dates, have you ever wondered if an activity date may end up being better?

People create connections while experiencing and engaging in activities together. You create intimacy by doing things together. “On my first date, I went out to a play zone where we actually had fun and got to discover and know more about each other”, says Surya. The event alone creates an opportunity to interact in ways that don’t occur when you are sitting politely across the table from one another. “Going away from the usual cosy night dates, it is exciting to explore and do outdoor activities without the fear of being judged since it is the first time,” he adds. In the middle of an activity, you negotiate, compromise, collaborate, demand, share and often work towards a common goal.

However, Augustine feels the norm of first dates either being dinner or drinks dates helps him get comfortable with the person. “I joined Tinder a month or two after the pandemic. It was the only way to meet new people,” he says. “We have gone on activity dates like paintballing. We have even gone on a trip which lasted a week and a half but it happened much later, after many drinks and dining,” he added. Augustine prefers to go on icebreaker dates first and eventually make a switch to activity-based dates, which will further help the couple understand their compatibility.

The pandemic has helped many people put things into perspective. It has led them to be more truthful and vulnerable about who they are, how they look, and what they are going through. It has also come to light that the smallest of favours make a date the favourite. Mentions of ‘small things’ increased by 30 percent in bios as members shared their appreciation for the little joys in life. It’s settled that small gestures such as ‘getting them coffee’ or ‘complimenting their outfits’ are ones that would make their day.

Now ‘warm hugs’ make Gen Z feel loved and fuzzy. And a ‘new ping from a match is guaranteed to bring a huge smile.

(With inputs from Raksha Arun.)