Relationship: The X factor

Contrary to the larger-than-life romance portrayed on the silver screen, in real life relationships thrive on small acts of love.

By Aditi Subramanian

The spark of any romantic relationship lasts because of the small things that cannot be put in words. A bouquet of flowers has now become cliché and does not have the impact that it used to. Instead, small acts of love such as understanding your partner’s love language, being a source of constant suppor t , and reassuring them in times of uncer - tainty are things that help your relationship grow. Doing these small things lays a strong foundation for a lasting relationship. Hence, it is important to start from the beginning—be it your first date or chatting on dating applications such as Tinder, remember that first impressions are the ones that last. Doing small gestures win you brownie points and ensure a second date right around the corner.

According to a recent study, mentions of ‘small things’ increased by 30% year on year in Tinder bios as members shared their appreciation for the little joys in life. Many Indian Tinder members agreed that small gestures like “getting them coffee” or “complimenting their outfits” are the ones that make their day.

While there is no written list of small gestures that need to be checked off for a successful relationship, factors such as mutual respect, understanding boundaries and effective communication are those that need to be followed at all times.

Akanksha (name changed) is a final-year student who is currently looking for a partner on Bumble, a dating application. “Many of the bios of the people here are rather corny, but I try to look past that. Online dating is tricky because I don’t know what the person is like in real life, but I build relationships with those who respect my boundaries,” she says.

Riya (name changed) is in a twoyear relationship with her boyfriend and currently lives with him in Mumbai. As someone who works at a 9 to 5 job, she often does not get to spend time with her partner. However, despite the odds, she and her boyfriend, Shyam, make it work. “My partner makes me a snack or dinner when I come back from work. I have never asked him to cook for me, but he knows that I get tired after work, and this unspoken agreement makes me love him all the more,” she says.

Meanwhile, Shyam, a college student, is content that Riya has struck a balance between her work and the relationship. “I never have to tell her when I’m feeling low. She seems to catch on from the way I text or my expressions, and she checks up on me immediately. I don’t know how to put it in words, but she understands me in ways that no one else does,” he says.

Neither of them relies on big gestures of love as they are constantly reassured by the deeds they do for each other every day.